Been a bit slack - but a bit busy too!

Ok, it's Wednesday morning and this has got to be the longest I have been away from writing my blog...but I have been busy working and socialising! Went out last night with my good friend Rose. We don't see each other often but when we get together over a bottle of wine we end up having very intense conversations, usually about relationships and how complex they truely are.

I never met up with her til 9pm as was working til then doing an event for the SE Chamber of Commerce AGM Meeting where they had food and drinks in our gallery. I had a really good laugh, not with the members but with Chris the aussie caterer and Sally, my boss. We were full of sexual innuendos but it kept us going since we had to wash over 100 wine and champagne glasses. The food was fab and so was the champas we sneaked down our throats.

Chris told me some interesting stories about restaurants. Never, ever, ever complain about your food!! It has been known for chefs to use bodily fluids before they return your food or throw it on the floor before placing it beautifully back on your plate. In fact he witnessed a chef use his spunk to make a dressing and Chris's words to me were 'You will never look at a Ceasar salad in the same light again!' Gross! Lol.

Tonight, straight from work I am meeting up with Maggie again for drinks and food. It feels good to be doing things for me and to be enjoying them on my own too. Mark has been told to back off and give me space and let me do my own thing. I have been told not to feel guilty about doing my own thing although this is hard as I know this is killing Mark at the same time. Ulri also told us not to talk about it for a few days, but on Monday evening we found ourselves deep in conversation. We were very honest, or should I say I was. For the first time, Mark heard what I had been feeling for a while now and that that was that I didn't want to be with him right now. This doesn't mean I am going to leave him, it is just how I feel at the moment. I have also told him that the therapy will either make or break us. We both need to be slightly prepared for the unknown. He was glad I had been honest with him and it felt good to tell him. The only way we are going to work is if he lets me have independance from him and that means independant friends too. All the years I have been with Mark, I have ALWAYS included him in my friends and I think that has been a mistake. He needs his own friends and so do I. So I am going to hopefully go and spend a night in London with my friend Bianca, alone. Mark has always come too before. I am going to visit Ulrika in Sweden one weekend too. Mark has got to learn to let go a little and have his own space rather that being absorbed by me and my space.


Take care y'all