Thursday night - bad end to a good night

So dinner went down well with everyone. We'd drank some wine and in Ulri's case tea. No room for pudding - which was quite amazing hearing a 'No' from Ulri and my father!! She left about half ten and we started clearing up and getting ready for bed.
Once I thought I was on my own downstairs I thought I'd finish getting washed and ready for bed etc to music. We have speakers in the bathroom which is very cool when you want to sing along in the shower - good acoustics! So I lock myself in having picked up my phone cause it has been off all night and I wanted to check if Rose has got back to me as she was meant to phone me. I also hadn't worked out yet how to do reminders on my phone and that is a thing I use alot for work. So I was sitting on the loo, fiddling with the phone when out of the blue, Mark says 'I'm coming in' and with that unlocks the door using a knife.

I turn my phone off and put it in my pocket, thinking I can do the reminder thing some other time when he walks in with this wierd look on his face. 'Who are you texting?' he says. I said 'I'm sorry?' To which he replied, 'I thought I saw you through the glass door texting.' Now this really pisses me off as it suggests quite blatently that he has been spying on me, and of course is thinking the worst...whatever that is. I told him I was looking at the reminder thing on my phone and he said, 'I want you to be honest with me'. I was livid.
He went off to bed and I finished getting ready for bed. When I went upstairs he was just lying there staring into space. My thoughts....'here we go again'. He had been ok all week and then suddenly out of nowhere, something triggers it off again. He repeats what he asked before and I tell him, I wasn't texting. I couldn't be arsed to say exactly what I was doing because I felt I didn't have to justify my every move to him. So we turn our backs on each other and both pretend to go to sleep, only Mark's huffing and fidgeting doesn't make it so easy....but I don't want to listen anymore...am tired of it all and still angry.
In the morning, nothing has really changed. He is in tears saying that he is frightened that as soon as he does sort himself out, I will leave him....where did this shit come from? But he is also frightened of telling me too much because it may drive me away. I am too close to talk to. He needs someone from outside. I can only reassure so much. But I can only take so much. Luckily I am seeing Julian this morning and his wife is a counsellor who may know someone who can help. Here's praying...

Michelle...I need your help on this one.

Take care y'all.