It's nearly all over......time to move on

After two weeks from finding out I had lost the baby I went back for a scan. I had had a solid week of heavy bleeding and then it just stopped. At the scan there was no signs of the baby and the midwife said my miscarriage was now complete. I was very lucky apparently, as some women have to keep going back because only parts of the miscarriage have come away or can end up having a scrape. I knew my baby had gone.

In that same morning, when I woke up I had the symptoms of cystitus. This made it very hard to keep a bladder full for the scan. The midwife said I needed an iron drink to boost my blood cell levels. I was now run down, and boy did I feel it. From then I took sachets and drank lots of fluid, but over the weekend and then into Monday it felt like a full blown UTI; headache, lower abdomen and back pain, painful to wee etc etc. Come Tuesday, I rang the hospital for my urine sample test result. It came back clear! They said it might be an infection and to go and see my GP. So I did. I am now on antibiotics even though the dip test came back negative again. There is something definitely not right, what ever it is. I am feeling a zillion times better now.

Over these past two weeks, lots has happened. Dom has had a birthday, we have had our third wedding anniversary, my friend Helen has been up on her way to South Africa for a month, Dom and I have started jive classes and boy are they great, and then there was Mother's day. Meg made me a lovely card and I got some flowers too. We went out for the day to Painshill park, which was absolutely gorgeous. There were lots of quirky buildings to explore on the 18th century historical walk. It was abandoned in the 1940s but has been brought back to it's original life in the 80s. Well worth a day out, especially on a picnic weather day.
It's not until today that I feel 100% and we are going out tonight to celebrate our anniversary over a posh curry! Can't wait. We have only ever eaten in a curry house together once! This won't even be a proper curry house, but it will be lovely.

I was looking through old photos and videos of Meg this morning and suddenly I just burst into tears. Seeing her as a baby, crawling and giggling just hit home what I had lost. I think the physical aspects of losing the baby has taken over the emotional side and I don't think I have moved on just yet. We have bought one of my favourite flowers in seed form, called 'forget-me-not', which we are going to sprinkle all over the back of the garden as our memory to our lost one, who will never be forgotten.