GRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

I am the type of person who either festers something inside and lets it eat me alive or I just come out and say it, not necessarily thinking things through, just how I feel at the time! I am trying to strike a balance. It is hard! I feel if I am upset about something, or something is bugging me then I should be honest and say how I feel. Of course there are always consequences to everything we do or say, and that's what life is about. And learning to deal with it too.

So I decided to text one of my closest friends to see how he was and also to let him know that I am still alive if he was still interested! So I asked if he was okay and if his back had recovered....kept it short just to test the waters really. He replied a long text(3 updates), saying how he was doing sports now, spending time with his girlfriend, house hunting, oh and staying in touch with all our friends from university. 'See ya laterz, though'. I can't tell you how that hit a nerve. So why hadn't he been in touch with me? I texted back saying I was glad he was in touch with all our friends and I am okay, thank you for asking!!' Baring in mind we used to talk smut constantly. He really knew how to lower my levels, if you know what I mean. But we had fun!

His reply just through me!

Don't know what to say really hun. A little disappointed with you really. Not meant to hurt you or ignore you. Just struggling with whats happened. Can't forget how much you slated L**** for the crap she done. Not my problem what you and mark doing to each other, not my business, but can judge you on the whole way you done it. Not wanting to lose touch, just getting my head round things. I know I should not judge you, but its easy to say and hard to do!

To which I replied ( btw, this is my therapy, getting this down)

I don't see how you can compare me to L***! You haven't even talked to me at all! How dare you judge me when you don't even bother to hear my side of the situation! I was there for you everyday when you were breaking up. You haven't been there for me once.....and you judge me!I am so upset! Lets leave it at that.

Friend!
Fine by me hun, as I said, not wanting to get people upset, and I dare to judge people how I want, as I am an individual who has his own thoughts and views, and as for being there for you, if you had even bothered to let me know, may be I would have. I seem to remember asking for yours and Mark's help. You don't ask, you don't get. Am no frigging mind reader. Anyway, didn't want to argue, which is why I left it. Have fun.

Me
I am sorry that you were not at the fore-front of my thoughts when Mark and I were going through a very painful and upsetting break up. I just would have thought that once you knew, I would have heard from you, just one text maybe? I have had to completely change my life because of the decision I made, finances, somewhere to live etc. I have left Mark cause I realised I loved him as a brother, and no more. One life, one chance to be happy. It's a sacrifice I do not regret.

Friend
Not my concern what you and Mark do in your lives, and never expected to be told what was going on, but if you wanted help or chat when you made your split, that's fine you just had to ask. Don't need to know gory details of your life, or decisions you make at the time, and wouldn't expect to be in your thought at the time either. But I only help people who ask and you didn't, so how would I know? First I heard about it all was from Mark. Not judging you and your decision, hope you're happy, but have my own views on how things are done, and that's that. Don't wish you unhappy, don't want to know your personal life with Mark, your business, but I met Mark cause he called me, and asked the same, so stop getting on your high horse, and saying I can't have views, and just get on with things. Never said I was not your mate. But I can say I am disappointed, and if that's how I feel then that's that. You don't like it then tuff!

I am so pleased I have such kind and supportive friends. I would have just loved to have called him and told him the situation!! He would have listened and been non-judgemental. NOT!

Maybe I am being harsh. But as I said, I write what I feel at the time. My friend is a very stubborn person and never in the wrong. I seem to surround myself with people like that. Makes for good debates - as I am one too!

Take care y'all