Woman on a mission! I am going nuts - and I apologise

Dale came home from work late last night and said I looked very distressed. Didn't think I was but I guess after the day I had had I should have been!

My ma never came round, due to my eldest niece needing to go to the doctor. Helen wouldn't have come over either if it hadn't been for Mark asking me to remove all my stuff from the dining room that he had bagged up. Too many memories he said. After we'd had lunch we drove over to the house. There was a shit load of stuff. Where the hell had it all come from? Any sign that I had lived there had pretty much been irradicated. Empty photo frames, replaced pictures, it was no longer my home. It hit a nerve. I wanted to burst into tears, but I knew I had to be strong infront of the children. Helen had only recently told Emily that Mark and I were no longer together but we were still very good friends. Emily has taken it very well, as kids do! I noticed that he had Ulri's portrait sat prominent on the telephone table. They are communicating alot and I appreciate her support with him in all this. She is a very special friend to both of us.

Once we had dumped all my stuff back at the cottage (which filled the whole bloody front room btw) we drove to Hayling. I had one more mission. Probably the hardest one yet. I couldn't keep this whole situation from my Nan any longer. She is 89 but very astute. She is the most important person in my life because she has ALWAYS been there for me. It had annoyed me that all my family were telling me I shouldn't tell her because it would kill her. (She likes Mark very much). But I could not go on living a lie especially to the one who I value the most and who I have entrusted my life with. She deserves my honesty. And she had guessed something was up for a while now anyway. Finally everyone agreed.

So my sister dropped me off at my Nan's. I was very uptight with Nan for a while. She was asking if I could ask Mark to fix things for her. I said I would fix it - and I did!! After a while, I took her hand and said I have something very serious I need to tell you and I know you are not going to like it. When I told her that Mark and I were over, she was in shock for about 30 seconds. She asked me the usual questions and I answered as honestly as I could. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I should have known it wouldn't be! My Nan is a funny one. The smallest things can eat her up and worry her, but when you tell her something big like this, she takes it in her stride and just deals with it. She would have been a great person in a crisis; calm and collected, I've seen her like this before. She is my hero.

So I came home on the train having achieved all my missions for the day. Spent alot of the evening going through the bags. God I have alot of crap. Guess you keep it when you think you have the space. But I don't now and so am going to have to ditch alot of it. Ebay maybe useful here!!

I have felt slightly neglected of late by my friends. But I have got it all wrong. They are just busy with there own lives. They haven't forgotten me. I have just blown it all out of proportion. And I apologise for this. Sorry guys. You know who you are.


Well am at work now and for the next 4 days it is just Dale and I running the gallery. Bosses are having a well earned break and are going to their niece's wedding. We can breathe again!!!

Take care y'all

Theresa