Independent Theresa

I feel a new chapter in my life is happening and I have realised now that I actually really like my name and would prefer to be called that from now on if I am introduced to new people. I don't expect my close friends to use it...I just want a fresh start with fresh people as it were.


I like living on my own. Actually, I love it. I have been so dependent on other people for so long and I think it was just laziness more than anything. Now I have set up my own computer, changed the shade on my bedroom light, just small things, but small steps bla bla bla!! lol. I do still do most of the cooking for me and Dale but that is my choice and it is always nicer than cooking for one. Besides I love showing off my culinary skills. The other day he said he loved me and would marry me just for my cooking!!! How sweet. Need to fatten the guy up anyway.

It was his birthday last week which can prove a bit of an emotional time for reasons that are just plain private. What we did discuss though is how alone we both feel sometimes. All his friends are up North and he will no longer be a student, so in effect he is losing friends. Lets be honest, how many of us keep in touch with our student flat mates once we have left college? I on the other hand seem to be dwindling in friends. I have certainly gained a valuable couple of friends, but I have also lost a couple of what I thought were good friends....well they don't contact me any more and I know they are very much in touch with Mark still. I must be the bitch from hell as far as they are concerned! Does up set me though as I have been there for them in times of trouble.

So Dale and I are becoming very close, supporting each other. I really enjoy his company. I get him!! I understand where he is coming from especially with his creativity. We have been putting together his portfolio, and I feel very priveleged to be helping him mount his work cause I think it is brilliant! The man just does not know how to take compliments though. He quietly told me that his tutor had said he should be doing a Masters not a degree because his writing was so brilliant....and I have only seen his graphic art!! Multi-talented or what? Some people don't get him for that reason...he is just bloody intelligent and it is their loss if they don't see that.

Although I am working all weekend, I always get that Friday feeling and look forward to it very much. Most evenings of late, if I have not been chatting with Dale I am in my room listening to music on my computer with the headphones he has lent me. I stand in front of the mirror and boogie my ass off!! I think I am re-living my teenage years again...and not having to worry about others for a change. (minus the hair brush microphone!) Selfish Theresa is my new name and selfish I will be!!! It is new to me and positive to me too.

Take care y'all

my nieces, Anna & Emily

The kids did not go to bed til late on Saturday as I am a very naughty Aunt!!! lol. Consequently they were very ratty, according to my sis, who was also ratty, hungover and tired. So I decided to try and tire the kids out. For 2 solid hours we danced to good pop music around the dining room table. 'I'm a barby girl' 'Bob the Builder!'etc etc. We had so much fun!

My parents and Nan came at 2pm for the indoor BBQ my sister had arranged! We had lovely food and I took some home for my tea the next day!

Better get back to work now!!

Take care y'all

Family celebrate Alf's 60th birthday!

It isn't often there is an opportunity to have a photo taken where we are all in it. I am very proud of this picture. The four generations make a good picture. It is also good for me as my Nan is 89 and fading really. I know this could be the last opportunity I get. Having said that, she will probably live to be 100 now!!! lol

Alf and Steve's birthday celebrations

On Sunday 24 July it was my Dad's 60th birthday and also my sister's husband, Steve. Now, I babysat on the Saturday night and this pic is taken first thing Sunday morning after Steve has had just 4 hours sleep....and so much to drink he doesn't remember much!! I know he isn't amused about me doing the family photo thing but he will in time. It ain't often that there is a pic of all the Rico's together. Anyway, he went straight back to sleep!

Rose and Ros

On Thursday lunchtime I met up with my old colleagues and friends from University. It was a beautiful day and I don't think I have seen the sea quite that blue in Portsmouth ever. Ros said she thinks they must be putting dye in it to make it that colour.....well she is a print maker!!! lol

Fab day out in London

To the left: Me in the Boot and Flogger drinking vintage port and eating cheese and biscuits! How posh am I? lol.


Above: After all the wine tasting experience we needed to wake up a bit and so went for coffees at Starbucks. Now I hate chain coffee outlets, however, this didn't suggest any corporate look at all. It was just a really cool place to chill.

Interesting few days

I have been fortunate to have Friday, Saturday and Sunday off and because of thia length of time, I wanted to make the most of it. Having said that, a while ago I promised my sister that I would babysit for her on the Saturday night, and then it turns out it is my father's 60th birthday, aswell as Steve's, my brother in law, so Sunday will be pretty much taken up with the family thing! Besides, the weather is shit here and so the BBQ organised may have to be brought inside. I am writing this at my sister's house right now. I am still waiting for my computer at the cottage and even if I do get it this week, broadband will not be connected. This is very frustrating as I rely on this to keep in contact with certain friends.

Having said that, I was invited up to London by Dom on Thursday evening to stay until Saturday morning. He was taking a day off work Friday so we could do stuff together. I had bought the ticket Thursday morning and was already to go when I heard about the bombings in London. This scared the hell out of me. I know we should not give up going about our usual business but I was very worried. Dale's girlfriend was coming down on the Thursday too for his birthday and so this kind of swung it for me really to still go. Dale was having my bedroom! (Only double bed!) He really didn't want me around. Lol

So I got on the train to Clapham and Dom met me there. He had to change his journey pattern because of the Northern Line being shut down. Having friends in London now makes me very edgy, knowing that everyday their journey is a risk. Luckily we managed to get on a train to take us to Carshalton and from there walked to his house. Once I had dumped my stuff we went to Ikea which is not a million miles away. Dale and I had worked out a list and Dom said he could take me. We enjoyed meat balls first and then shopped. At 10pm at night Ikea is quiet and a pleasure to shop in.

In the morning we assessed whether going in to London city as planned was such a good idea. Bollocks to it! What Dom had in mind to do was a fantastic opportunity that I would not let some terrorist ruin. We went to Tower Bridge to the Boot and Flogger. It is a beautiful, old pub that you would walk past if you didn't know. It reminds me of going back in time to a middle class victorian period. The seats are grand and the setting is dark and mysterious, ney, cosy, with wonderful objects displayed all over, from traditional guns to pots and ancient bottles of delicous wines. The food was good too. Tapas. And I tried my first glass of vintage port which I surprisingly enjoyed and which went straight to my head!!

From there we went to Vinnopolis, a wine tasting adventure! What a fab place. You learn the history of wine and how to taste it. All the staff are experts and very helpful. The setting is very relaxed and it's a beautiful way to spend an afternoon, slowly getting more and more relaxed! The funny thing for me was that every wine Dom tried was bloody awful and he was spitting most of it out!! I, on the other hand was picking some great wines. I had an Israeli white which was very crisp and dry, a delicious rioja 98, french, thai (absolutely disgusting, but not as bad as the Chinese!!!) and can't remember after that!! lol.

After that fantastic experience we went to the market just across the road. It was amazing. All fresh produce, from olives to bread, cheese to cakes. We had some food there and brought back some olives, which turned out to be very salty. We walked back along the river rather than getting the tube, besides it was a beautiful day. The journey home was a long one. The trains were so full we were hanging around alot. Still it had been a great day and something I had never done before so I am extremely pleased and honoured to have been given this opportunity.

In the evening we just chilled over another bottle of wine and a video. It had been a long day and so I hit the sack early. Hadn't done so much walking since my trip to Stockholm!

In the morning Dom drove me to the station and my sister picked me up from Havant. He had to help his best friend Aaron move into a flat 3 flights up! (Have just had text saying he is very stiff! Lol. I think he needs to get fit!!!)
It was a great few days and I hope I can do it again sometime. We get on really well and I feel he is one of my best friends now.

Will post pictures once my computer is up and running.

take care y'all...

Settled in to new cottage

Well I have now moved in to my little cottage with Dale and I must say, we get on great. He is a very intelligent, creative guy and we have some really good conversations in the evenings. We can even slag off work and our bosses. The cottage is lovely too although we have had one problem after another which are taking time to resolve. In the meantime we are holding out on paying rent.

When I was moving in, my old neighbour, Robbie, from when I lived on Hayling, walked past. It was a shock for both of us. His office is literally backed on to our courtyard! I have sworn him to secrecy about my move because if one person finds out on Hayling then the whole bloody island will know and I do not want my Nan finding out. It would destroy her. Last night I found a card through my door from him which was really sweet. On my way back from shopping I noticed he was in his office and so popped my head in to say thanks. He showed me out the back and 2 seconds later I am at my cottage!! We have exchanged numbers so I can let him know if I am around for a cuppa now and again. I have known him all my life, literally!! And we were all very close neighbours too, playing in the fields behind the house, going swimming after school and doing the fun fair on a Thursday evening when the rides were half price. Every Nov 5 we would all build a huge bonfire in the field and organise fire works. They were really good happy, carefree days. Now he has a wife and twins and works 8.30 til 7pm 5 or 6 days a week. How things change!!

My week so far

One of my dear friends, Ulri, kindly reminded me that I haven't been doing my blog lately, and I said that I haven't really done anything to write about. And she replied that it used to be more about my emotions....and she is right ofcourse. But I'm not sure if I should be expressing these emotions right no, a) because I feel I may be repeating myself and b) this is a very difficult time for Mark right now as tomorrow I am officially leaving him to move into my little cottage. Obviously there are mixed emotions going on here and I do not wish to rub my feelings in his face. This is difficult as I always said this was my therapy and that I had to be truely honest about my thoughts and if he happened to read them then that was his choice. But this is killing him, I know. My six month seperation has nothing to do with him. He has agreed to it as the alternative is that I leave completely now. Hopefully, the six months will give us both space to figure out what it is we (I) want. This will be resolved one way or another.

I have been trying to live away from the house as much as possible but this week I have had to be in the same house especially as I have needed to pack. I never realised how much stuff I had. It is getting a little tricky now too as there are things that I need and also things that Mark needs and I don't know what to take. He is being very cool and saying 'take what you want, I don't care', but I know that when I do he may curse me later! How do you split a set of knives when the 2 you use are the same as the ones he uses. Silly but difficult!

Over the week, I have made a conscious effort to get back in touch with friends. Some I feel have neglected me and it would appear are more concerned with Mark - and that's fine. Some I am pleased to say are still there for me even though I thought they would waver towards Mark and distance themselves from me. So next week I have a hectic social schedule I am pleased to say. Ros and Rose are doing lunch with me, John is meeting me for drinks one evening, Helen is 30 seconds away as is Elly. Might have to do a house warming party....we will see!

Tonight I am going to my second class of Jive dancing. I love it!! I have found a fantastic dance partner, Dave, who has a strong lead. For those who don't know what it is: it is very much a contact dance, swinging and twisting, just like the old days of the 50's and 60's. The good thing is you do it to chart music. The hall is huge as it is part of Horndean Technical College. The floor has to be really slippery for you to move properly. There is proper disco lighting and a good DJ. You have a few classes and then the last 2 hours is free style. Just like the old days everyone sits around the outside of the dance floor and the women wait for the men to ask them to dance. It is considered very rude to refuse and consequently you can land up with some real mingers. I seem to attract the over 55's as usual. Dave is about 60!! But he has a good strong lead andI have learnt loads from him. So he will be my partner tonight hopefully. Last week I came out of there with the biggest high ever - and no alcohol was required!! It was such a buzz.

As I said before, I am moving in to my new cottage tomorrow with my colleague Dale. My sister is coming over with baby Anna to help me shift stuff as she has a car. We have had so many problems so far that the estate agent is starting to piss us off. In one breath you are told everything is sorted; cleaned carpets, cleaned house, new cooker and beds, only to find that none of it has been done and Dale is having to sit and wait for people who are just not turning up and you can't get hold of the estate agent!! GGRRRR.

As I move out, so Mark goes to his parents in Chesterfield for the weekend straight from work on Friday. It is his father's 70th birthday. I am not sure what has been said to the rest of the family but knowing his parents, it will be kept quiet as it is more a matter of pride! I am working this weekend anyway so that is probably what they will say. He gets back on Sunday to an empty house....can't imagine how he will feel. Awful no doubt....but in time it will get easier.

Just heard from Dale and the estate agent is chasing things up. I will pop there after work...now that I have keys!!! So excited!

Take care for now. See y'all. x x x

I finally get to meet Dylan!! 

me and my long lost friend Amy, all the way from Aussie 

fantastic salsa band. One of the many varied acts on the main stage at IFoS. 

brilliant band dressed in wet suits! 

on the bus home...until tomorrow!

Dale and I left Cececilia's party pretty much after we had eaten all her delicious food. We were the youngest ones at the party and could see that people were taking an interest in us, wandering if romance was blossoming! We stayed together because Dale didn't know anyone and felt like he didn't fit in. We were getting comments and decided to milk it for a laugh! For the last 5 mins we pretended to be talking intimately and then when we went to leave, we held each other's hand!! lol. We knew that when we'd gone we would be the centre of gossip. And we were not disappointed. Our bosses turned up as we left and recounted the talk this morning! Hilarious!

Instead of going home because we were tired, I dragged Dale into the busy pub on the Hard. We bought a bottle of Earnest Gallio red wine as it is only £7.25 in there. We downed a quick glass and took the bottle with us on the bus. Dale is completely skint so I said he could take it home.

View from her appartment at sunset! 

Me and my american friend Cecelia at her birthday bash at her flat in Gunwharf.

Straight from work Dale and I went to Cecelia's birthday bash at her house in Gunwharf. We cleaned up the bowl of olives between us, supped the wine, ate a fantastic meal and left!!! Naughty but fun!!

Th 6th generation Grandsons of Nelson. Brett and Craig Nelson. And they do look like him!! 

Russian Navy 

Half of Saturday of the International Festival of the Sea

It is lunch time and for some reason it is fairly quiet. So I have a chance to write about my day so far. I already have some excellent photos. Some Russian Navy men came in and they wanted a picture with me too. As a token gesture they have given me a replica uniform badge. Very sweet.

Next thing I know, two uniformed guys, one in the Navy and the other in the RAF come in wanting to use our loo. I tell them they can't because of insurance and liability, but ask if I can have a picture of them. They ask if it's because of the Nelson thing and I just look at them blankly. We compromise. I let them use the loo if I can have the picture. I take them down to the gallery area and Leon is there which is worrying. How do I justify this. He recognises them immediately as they have been on world T.V all week! Well I don't watch T.V. So it is all lost on me. Turns out they are 2 of the 3 brothers who are the sixth great grandchildren of Nelson and their surnames are actually 'Nelson'. So of course I got a couple of great photos with them. Leon makes the sarcy remark that they must be the new flavour of the day and that it was commandos yesterday. Craig replied 'I hope so!!!' Lol. He does look a bit like Nelson - the nose anyway!

I went out with Julian for a wonder in the late morn as more volunteers turned up. We went on the JST Nelson boat where Julian had done the charity mast climb yesterday. Last year he sailed on this boat in the Canary Islands. It's a great experience by all accounts and I wouldn't mind looking into it! There is also another boat called Tanacious where you can sail in the Carribean. The actual cost of sailing is low but you have to find your own way to these locations. Am very tempted!! Have picked up details anyway...so we shall see.

When I got back to the gallery, Elly said she had some interesting news for me. Oh yeah I thought?! Turns out her malefriend's brother, 35, came in yesterday and has told her he likes me and would like to take me out for a drink. All very flattering I am sure. She says he is good looking and well built and also looks after the mentally handicapped. She says he is a really, lovely guy! I am sure he is! Trouble is, I am just seperating from a really, lovely guy. It's not what I want.

Going Commando!

My newest friend, South African Helen, in her naval museum outfit....not for much longer! We bring out the daring and fun in each other!

I have had a good day and a busy day. The main highlight of the day was when I took myself off at 12.30pm to go and have my lunch. On my walk through the dockyard I bumped into Helen at the Royal Naval Museum and she told me she had just done this tight rope journey over a dry dock and was looked after by these gorgeous Commandos. I said I think she should do it again and I could take some pics, and it also meant meeting more men in uniforms. Lol! See pics below!

Having fun while having the harness fitted - tightly!!

We walked over and they recognised her immediately and said that I should do it – in my skirt!! They were extremely flirtatious and I was persuaded that I should do this, but I would have to swap clothes with Helen (trouser uniform) if I was going to do it! So Helen and I queued for the loos and ended up in the disabled loos. We came back and I was fitted very tightly with the harness. The guys were extremely complimentary to me, which always inflates a girl’s ego. I was even asked to go out later but I declined saying I was way too tired and had to work the next day and the next, and it would just be too knackering. But I was extremely flattered and it may have been a laugh. But I will never know and besides I have more important things to do with my time. It is just nice to flirt and feel sexy I guess!

Terri half way across the journey. They guys new I was shit scared of heights so they paused it in the middle.

Bearing in mind I am scared of heights I can’t believe I actually did the crossing. I was pulled along either end and I can tell you the harness is the most painful squash on your private parts you can imagine. The Commandos said it is a lot worse for them! But they would. They have only recently come back from Iraq on the front line. Interestingly they were saying that they had a fantastic time – ‘It’s what we do best!’ I asked if they had killed anyone and they just look at you as if to say you should never asked a marine that! Good job I didn’t ask what instruments they play!!! Lol!

Terri with the Commandos after the tight rope!

Afterwards, Helen was really keen to have a photo session and for me to be able to send them to her. I will do this through the Kodak gallery. She couldn’t help keep saying how fit and gorgeous they were. She is married and has been with her partner for 14 years so I guess we are both enthusiastic when it comes to any attention by other men!! Eddie would kill her if he saw the photos and what she said!! Lol! Sometimes there is just no competition!!

Helen with the commandos