Working today at the gallery

Well what a strange day it is turning out to be. I rushed in to work for 8.30am today to get things set up for the Artists Market, signs, posters, flyers etc and to make sure the American couple who have travelled all the way from New Quay would not be stranded. What a great couple....think I am making new friends..have offered them to stay with us if they want to do the Market at the International Festival of the Sea at end of June/July. They have said we could come and stay with them..they have a big house apparently. So we are going to keep in touch!

Because my bosses are doing VAT returns they have been cooped up in the office all day, leaving me to (WO)man the gallery. There isn't alot I can do right now and so I find myself bored and reading people's blogs to pass the time..which is interesting..but I just don't want to be here today.

Had phone call from best friend Johnny telling me he had the biggest hangover and just wanted to go to bed, but that he needed to buy Mark a birthday present. I said if he had a hangover then that meant he'd also had a shag! Johnny seems to only be able to sleep with someone if he is pissed...he has regular girls which he calls 'Fuck Buddies'. He prefers to remain 'solo' as opposed to single. Knowing him as I do, he basically has been hurt so badly by his last girlfriend that he is scared to venture into any form of relationship....but what makes him different to anyone else?

Anyway, John is gonna pick me up from work and we will go shopping for pressies. We will meet Ulri and Mark later in Loch Fyne restaurant where I am anticipating moules mariniere with a nice bottle of rioja before we make way to the comedy night and boogie!

Something enlightening happened in the gallery today, which made me feel special in a wierd way. 3 young foreign guys came in and one miserably asked if I had an envelope. He got my back up immediately just because there were no manners involved. However we got chatting and I found out they were from my family home of Slovenia. I said we were like family and that I would only charge him 5p for an envelope. I took the copper from his wallet for him and he proceeded to carry on searching and I wondered why....then suddenly he handed me a coin from Slovenia as a token of thanks and a way of bonding, I guess. I was really taken aback and couldn't stop smiling at his kind gesture. So I now have this souvenier which reminds me of how kind and sweet the Slovenish people genuinely are.

I did ask him if he liked England. His response was. "No! Have just been to London. There are so many rules. You can't sit here, you can't walk there...and it is really expensive. I want to go home.!"
I know what he means..Slovenia is beautiful and cheap! London is.....London!!

It's Friday (4.45 Sat morn!)

To most, Friday means the end of the week and time to start unwinding and socialising...I know I have work the next day, and a manic one at that, but that doesn't stop me from downing nearly a bottle of red wine in the evening!

The day started off quite meloncholy for me...can't say why really but my mood did improve in the afternoon. Because I work in the Naval Dockyard, security is high and before you know it the MOD Police with their guns ablazing are clearing everyone out from the gallery. Apparently there's a bomb scare in the Victory shop, the next colonnades along. Someone has left a brown leather satchel there....this happens rather regularly so we tend to be blazee about it! So the whole dockyard is cleared up to a point...that point being the coffee shop. So my bosses kindly take me and Dale, our computer nerd/boffin for a coffee for an hour rather than hang around. We were just contemplating that it would be quite good if they had to get the bomb disposal unit in to blow the brown bag up because if the Victory Shop couldn't trade then maybe we'd sell more!

Once the drama was over we went back to work. One of our regular customers came in to pay for the rest of a painting and just like that she bought another one which in total came to £3,740...very good day for us. We also got an excellent printing job for the Mary Rose Shop because we own this amazing unique picture of the Mary Rose's last scenes of battle. Hopefully we will be able to sell this to suppliers all over the country. Things seem to be picking up at last. However, there is still the dispute going on about our banners being hung on the outside of the grade 1 listed building. I now have to put stats together to show how trade has increased since they've been up....boring but worth doing.

On Saturday we have to do the Artists Market. This is a chance for local artists to sell their work direct to the public using our support. This takes alot of time and effort and we are very short staffed at the moment.....shouldn't have had that wine thinking about it now....I should go back to sleep...long day ahead.

After work am off out for something to eat and then on to Jongleurs with Mark, Ulri and John. Should be a good laugh. Fancy a good boogie. Ulri and I have been looking forward to this for ages but we keep telling ourselves that it is going to be crap. Past experience has made us realise that if we have no expectations then it turns out to be a fab night, and vice versa.

Have just finished reading a brilliant phylisophical book about having a positive attitude to life and recognising how sometimes the simple things in life should be the things you treasure the most...value things for what they are.. Very short and very simple...just like Pooh which the book uses to give examples. It is called The Tao of Pooh. Really recommend it. ByBenjamin Hoff. Also try The Alchemist...takes no more than a few hours to read.

Better go back to sleep now.
See y'all.

Mark's birth day! April 28

Well yesterday it was Mark's birthday and he was 38! Everybody gave money except one special lady...more later!

Work was good. Had to get away early though as I needed to buy new clothes. It turns out that the bug I had has made me drop 2 clothes sizes and I literally had nothing to wear except jeans, and that isn't the right gear in a gallery!. So just after 5pm I got on my bike and headed for Southsea shopping precinct. It poured down! I got drenched and the bloody lock on my bike was playing up. However, I walked into Debenhams to be greeted with a wonderful, old familiar aftershave smell that took me back down a happy memory lane.

From that point I knew I was going to be ok. As you are aware I hate clothes shopping but this took on a new life...a very quick one! Within half an hour I had bought 3 pairs of trousers, a skirt and 2 tops. Now all I need is new shoes...but another day. From there I went to the hairdressers. The best feeling is when someone massages your scalp..I could have stayed having my hair washed for hours. Anyway after a cut and blow dry I got back on my bike and cycled home in the wet! Hair ruined but hey...it was good to be pampered.

Started to prepare dinner for when Mark and Ulri got back from bodypump and my dad would arrive. Thai red curry....delicious!

When they came home we went out and bought a bottle of champagne...although Mark wasn't keen to celebrate, we all sang 'happy birthday' and drank the champas! Back to the special lady and the pressie....Mark was waiting at the top of the stairs outside the classroom at the gym. Who comes up the stairs brandishing a bouquet of flowers but Ulri...not only that, she had got Mark's spinning trainer to join her so they could wish him happy birthday in front of everyone...how sweet was that?!!

Dinner was fun and I think that Mark actually enjoyed himself! He called me at work during the day to say he had read my blog and had learnt alot about me. I have to say that that took me back a bit and got me thinking...does there come a time when you stop trying to get to know a person and just BE with the person? We have been together 12 years and obviously our relationship has changed, it would be impossible not to. But did we stop really talking and just start 'living' alongside each other and if so when did that start? We share the same house, bed, food etc, but is that what being together for life is.....being comfortable living side by side? No one has anyone, or thing to compare this too. Does anyone else have a view on this? Blog is certainly making me question myself more. Mark is a wonderful person and we are very well suited....but what will our relationship be like in 10 years time...will it have changed or is this 'comfort zone' what marriage is all about? Who knows...who cares...que sera, sera!

Signing off now. See y'all!

new size needs new clothes! 

Alf, father with surrogate daughter, Ulrika! 

Mark and Terri 

Mark's birthday dinner 

the three generations, nearly! 

me and my niece Anna 

me and my lovely nan 

Day out at Hayling Island with family

Today, it was my day off and I had decided already to spend the day at Hayling Island with my sister, mum, nieces and Nan in the evening. First I had to travel to North End to my parents shop where my sister would pick us up.

I got to the shop to be warned that my ma had started smoking again and that she was very upset because my sister had given her a hard time the night before because on Saturday, when she was meant to be babysitting, she had taken too many pills again which makes her appear and act drunk. Warning..do not ever take Volterol..especially too many. It is awful to see the side effects.

Anyway, my ma was looking for my sympathy which I don't give unless deserved. I told her Helen was right to be very angry and upset. How can she feel relaxed leaving her kids with someone who cannot be trusted and is not stable? So they had it out again in the car... the frustrating thing for my sister and I is that my mum just does not know how to listen...she will agree with everything you say but you know it is not going in...this is very frustrating and is one of the reasons why I do not see my mum that often.

I don't think my sister has a great social life and I thought it would be a good idea to download MSN Messenger for her so that we could chat more. So while my mum and her cried and discussed the same old shit, Anna and I went to the study to continually fail to download messenger!!!! But we had fun together!

They patched things up and then Helen went off to the hairdressers. Mum and I took Anna to the beach and park just so we could all hang out together in the fresh air. Helen came back with Emily, my 7 yr old niece later on . It was good to be with all my family and getting along!
Emily then went off to tap classes and to give my sis a break I walked down to the church hall to pick her up. On the way back we came across my brother in law, Steve, who picked us up and took us home.
Having my nieces is a wonderful thing..but at the same time, it makes me realise that right now I am not maternal and am glad to hand them back at the end of the day-don't get me wrong, I love them to bits...but all day everyday would destroy me as a person.
Maybe that would change over time.

In the evening Ma and I walked to my nan's where we stayed a couple of hours before my dad came over and picked us up. So here I am at home writing my blog...It's Mark's birthday tomorrow. He will be 38. That seems scary to me now. The age gap seems more prevelant now, and I don't know why. Thank god he doesn't look his age, but then again, I've been told I don't look mine!

Am off to have my tea now, pasta in tomato sauce....could so fancy prawns right now!

See y'all soon..

knackered after 1st jog in years 

Tuesday 26th April - first jogging experience!

Well i never thought I'd have anything to write today but I was wrong. Went for a jog after work with Mark. Haven't jogged in years so this was truely a new experience. Got to the end of my road and was so out of breath it nearly killed me. But i was trying to be brave in front of Mark so I continued... a few minutes later I had got through the pain and was actually enjoying myself. I did have my mini disc walkman on though, with Christina Agueilera on...that helps! Poor Mark had nothing! Managed to do about 15 mins altogether and although that doesn't sound alot, it is if you havent done it before.

Have had an emotional evening...beginning to realise that all my friends are leaving me, nothing personal, it's just the way life is. It sunk in that soon Ulri will be leaving me too. This was quite traumatic for me and what with Mark getting the totally wrong end of the stick about my new on-line friendship with Ulri's friend Dom, I felt I had to start analysing why i was spending so much time talking to him of late...I think, apart from him being a great person to talk too, he is my link to Ulri...as are other new friends I have now. I love meeting new people, and as some leave I hope that more can become part of my life...and I hope that Dom and his girlfriend Janet will be new friends on my journey..

Very deep shit tonight...good therapy...see y'all. Sweet dreams...

The Gallery - where I work

I thought it might be a good idea for everyone to see where I work. Artists Harbour Gallery is a wonderful space set in Portsmouth Historic Dockyard. It is a grade 1 listed building. We will have been open for one year in June. Apart from the gallery space, there is also an art and card shop. Behind the scenes, apart from being an absolute bomb site, there is a framing area with state of the art equipment and a giclee printing service. (I hope you can see the photos to go with this entry). I work with some fantastic people. My boss is the most disorganised man I have ever met...which doesn't make for good business. Just by looking at his desk you can see what I mean. We are all trying to steer him in the right direction and it is a tough battle because 'he is always right'- apparently!

I showed Julian, my colleague, my blog today....just to show him a photo. He got quite absorbed in my diary which was nice. He wanted to make a comment but it wouldn't work for him so he made me remember it so I could put it in somewhere..so here it is..

Julian says, "If I don't start looking after myself instead of looking after others, I will definately go grey sooner than expected!"

He is a mature and wise man.....but I make my own decisions!!!!!

Today work has been good. Am getting lots done and trying not to worry too much about the things that aren't going so well. Feel as Marketing Manager I am responsible if things aren't working out, but really, I have done the best I can and somethings just don't happen the way you'd like.

I have talked to some great people today as well. Meeting people in all forms is one of the perks of my job - and life really. So I would love it if people responded to my blog....would like to meet new friends from all over the world.

Sweet dreams y'all....good night.

Julian and me in gallery 

part of gallery 

storage area 

framing area 

Dale at gallery 

Ulrika at gallery 

Boss's desk 

The Warrior 

right by the ferry port 

Spinaker Tower 

Shit...am going grey Sunday 24th april

Today, Sunday, I thought I'd make a bit of an effort with my appearance - half the time i can't be bothered. First I sprayed my top part of the body with this great spray tan product. It slowly begins to show over the course of hours. I also thought I'd do my hair - straighten it. Near the end while doing the fringe I was very shocked/surprised to find a wirey grey/white hair. Wasn't really too bothered as I just tugged it out...no big deal....However during the day, while at work, when I popped to the ladies and watched my face go darker each time, I took another peak at my hair and was horrified to find another grey hair!!!!! Now I honestly think that over the last few weeks I don't think i have had any stress - on the contrary actually....so this is worrying now....will they increase more frequently..do I start dying my hair..cause i would hate to do that? Is thirty two the stage of a steady decline? Will any one love me anymore!!!! I feel like Carrie from Sex in the City!! Seriously, am not that bothered...thought it was an amusing thing to share.
Sweet dreams y'all.

Saturday 24 April at the gallery

Although it is Sunday morning I really want to write about yesterday as it was such a good day for the gallery. Because it is set within the Portsmouth dockyard it can be very seasonal trade. However, the banners for the outside of our colonnades went up 2 days ago (has taken over 6 months to happen) and now that they are up, people are flooding in and spending money. This is a very new business and my bosses have spent a shit load of money to make this work.I can see a turning point ahead. Slight problem though...because our building is grade 1 listed we are limited to what we can put up without ruining the 'appearance' of the building. Not only that, we are not allowed to drill in to any brick walls - only the mortar. Added to that, the main boss of the dockyard has said the banners need to come down. What I say to that is 'FUCK YOU!' They are staying up. Our trade has quadrupelled since they've gone up. Sometimes I feel we are banging our heads against a brick wall....but I am not giving up.

After work Ulri and John came round for nachos and drinks - hers being tea!! She and I had a very interesting web chat with Dom which I have to say probably made him slightly embarrassed. Ulri and I are very good at turning on the girlie 'lesbo' insinuations at times.....we have so much fun - at others expense!!! Sorry Dom!! Hope you have stopped blushing by now....
Nachos were delicious. Mark does the best nachos...home made salsa and guacamole makes all the difference!
So a pleasant night was had by all. Now I am off to work at the gallery...am looking forward to it.

Hope everyone has a good day today as well. See y'all.

Fri April 22

Today was my day off again and I met up with dear Ulri at the 10th hole cafe, run along side a pitch and putt area. The food is amazing and very good value but the atmosphere is even better. We had a good old fashioned fry up over a chat which was very therepeutic for me....Ulri suggested, in the nicest possible way that I have been very selfish with Mark by not having the confidence to drive and therefore relying on him to take me everywhere...case in hand this evening...more later.

We went back to mine for tea so that she could watch how a 44 stone guy had lost half of his weight in a year....couldn't get into it myself mainly because of the naff setting of the studio and annoying presenters.

Ulri left at lunch time to study - she is doing an MA in digital media (I think!!). Really admire her. I attempted to blog but it just wasn't happening so took myself out for the day and had a great time. In the evening Mark, myself and my Boss, Leon were to go to a restaurant launch party on Hayling Island....mainly to network but as I am a real foodie person, I wanted to check out the food. The chef is a michelin star holder, yet the prices were very reasonable. Champagne and irish oysters flowed generously....I think it is going to be a great restaurant. There isn't a decent one on Hayling so they have a good start.

Came home at 9.30pm ready for my first take away curry since the 'bug'. My appetite is definately coming back....but I kinda want to keep to this shape now so will need to get down the gym a bit more.

Thank you to all Dom's friends who have made the effort to click on my blog. I will respond soon. See y'all later..

Me and Boss 

Before launch party 

Breakfast, Ulri 

Early morn 

Can't sleep 3.30am

Ok, it's that usual time of 3.30am and I seem to have a pattern emerging of waking up thinking I should blog! So here I am.
Had a good day yesterday...didn't feel like I got much done but sometimes you just gotta not let it worry you...tomorrow after all, is another day and as a good friend of mine says - 'why do today what you can put off til tomorrow'. Don't usually hold to that but for once it didn't do me any harm.
After work took my colleague, Julian and my friend Maggie out for a drink. The bad person that I am, I had forgotton it was Julian's birthday the week before yet it was also Maggie's this Friday, so I bought us a great bottle of Rioja crianza to celebrate both. We sat outside Loch Fyne at Gunwharf as the sun was still shining above. Moved inside once it decided to bury it's head into the land of nod. When Julian, left Maggie and I had a fantastic meal. I had a huge, beautifully cooked bowl of moules mariniere. With my bug I have been struggling to eat larger portions but this was not a struggle! However, I feel I am now paying for the wine and rich food. Here I am wide awake afterall, with the noisiest stomach churning around like a bloody washing machine on full spin!

Well I think I am going to continue now working on my one zillion and one things about me.....so catch you later y'all.

April 19, back to the grind stone

Back to work today, which I thought I would dread but ended up enjoying it alot. I work with very good people and we regard ourselves as a strong family unit...only sometimes my boss can be a pain in the neck..tell me one boss that isn't?

My work varies so much that I can never say I would get bored. From window dressing to curating there is such a variety of things to do. It can be very stressful at times and deadlines can be tight especially where artists are concerned, but as a conservative artist myself I have a little more understanding. They just wanna do art, not fart arse about with paper work and promotion...that's something I can understand and therefore try and do on their behalf.

I have made a decision recently that i need to start doing things for me. My whole life has been about looking after people, from family and friends to strangers if they ask - and i am not complaining cause that is who I am....but i don't want to get lost on the way and end up only having one association. There are other facets to me that i haven't explored yet and need to find out as well, before I regret putting everyone else first. I do not wish to look back on life and say 'if only'or blame other people for my set backs.

first thing's first I am going to start going out more with just girlfriends. This is no disrespect to Mark...he understands. I then want to look into doing an evening class of some sort. don't ask me what yet....english could be improved on though!

101 things about me.....and more!

You'll just have to be patient!

April 18th - what a glorious day!

I am finally getting into this blog lark and today experienced a great day to share with people. So I am not saying 'Bollocks' or anything like that....I am saying I had a really good day and want to share it.

I woke up determined to get this blog working and had even started on my 101 things about me at 3.30am last night. Sleep is proving very difficult for me at the moment and is a wierd feeling as I have never had sleeping problems before, ever.

Spring is definately here, one could even say Summer if it wasn't for the nippy sea breeze here in Portsmouth. I enjoyed being outside, taking in all the senses surrounding me. It's been a beautiful, relaxing day for me. For the first time I think I can say that my bug has finally gone and nausea was non existent at last. And by eating I have gained my strength back.

This evening, I took Mark out to Nemrut, a Turkish/Kurdish restaurant that does absolutely devine food. I needed to keep my pallate clean so I opted for grilled rack of lamb with rice. It was a struggle but I did enjoy it.

So it's 8.45pm and I feel sooooo tired. I think the sea air has got to me and the pleasure of a very relaxing day means I may sleep tonight..in the near future if possible!
Sweet dreams y'all!

Chilled on Sunday

It's been a wierd week for me. I have suddenly become a sucker for technology, something I would never have thought possible a year ago. Now, I'm addicted to it in all it's forms and glories - except when things go frustratingly wrong and I lose my patience...this has certainly taught me that my patience is declining rapidly!

Finding Messenger has changed my life and I hope very much for the better. I have even invested money to upgrade the computer to make sure I could do this without too many hitches. Suddenly I am able to talk to some great people - some not so great - but hey, atleast we're talking.

Because my job is within a gallery open to the public 7 days a week, my days off vary so I can never say I'm gonna have a lazy Sunday lie in. Well today, although I have not had to go to work I still find myself wide awake at 6am. It hasn't helped that I've had a bug for over a week now. Believe me, living on bananas and porridge, made with water, is a sure fired way to lose weight and feel weak and crap. Roll on eating proper food...keep trying but gob just won't let it in...for some reason my body will only eat cardboard like substances.

Bugged Terri

feeling rough on Sunday

Chilled on Sunday

on way to shops

Bollocks

Right now I don't think i can be bothered with blog - it's given me soooo much grief

day 1 of the rest of my life in public

hi

This is my first attempt at blogging. really excited about doing this. feel it is going to be a good journey for me to explore